The Littlest Sailboat: A Journey of the Soul with Theresa Contaxis

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Megan Mary: Welcome to day. We have Theresa Contaxis, author of the Littlest Sail Boat, A Journey of the Soul, a mother of 3 Contaxis studied under a nun, multiple energy workers, James Twyman and 2 shamans for 2 years before becoming a reverend of all Faiths Seminary, International. She has studied mysticism from various spiritual leaders, and her writings reflect her spiritual evolution.

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Megan Mary: Welcome, Theresa!

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Theresa Contaxis: Hi! It’s so. I’m so happy to be here with you.

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Megan Mary: Awesome. Well, the first question that I ask everyone is, what does enlightenment mean to you?

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Theresa Contaxis: You know, when you told me that was a question you were gonna ask. It really made me think, because, okay, so what does it mean to me?

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Theresa Contaxis: I know I’ve awakened, but I can also say I’m not necessarily totally enlightened, which is very hard to get to. I found a poem that, I think explains it the best

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Theresa Contaxis: “Nn the market

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Theresa Contaxis: in the cloister. Only God, I saw. In the valley on the mountain.

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Theresa Contaxis: Only God I saw, Spirit change the word to whatever you want

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Theresa Contaxis: in favor and in fortune only spirit I saw

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Theresa Contaxis: in prayer and in fasting, in praise and contemplation.

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Theresa Contaxis: only spirit I saw

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Theresa Contaxis: like a candle, I was melting in his fire amidst the flames only spirit I saw.

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Theresa Contaxis: my own eyes I saw most clearly, but when I looked with spirits, eyes

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Theresa Contaxis: only spirit I saw. I passed away in nothingness. I vanished.

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Theresa Contaxis: Only spirit I saw.”

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Theresa Contaxis: that since enlightenment is when you understand, you’re not separate.

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Theresa Contaxis: You’re part of everything. You’re part of all

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Theresa Contaxis: a rock, a tree. We’re energy, that’s what we are, and everything has energy, a rock.

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Theresa Contaxis: a little speck of sand. It’s all the same. it’s all part of one.

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Megan Mary: Yes, that’s very profound. II thank you for sharing that I agree it’s awakening to understanding that we’re all connected, and that we are all spirit. That spirit isn’t something out there or up there down there. It’s in us and around us all the time and in everything.

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Theresa Contaxis: And I think all of us has moments where we feel that it could be as something as simple of. I think I’m gonna call somebody. And you place the call, I think. Oh, my God, I really need to hear your voice today, it’s like.

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Theresa Contaxis: at that moment, you knew that connection.

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Theresa Contaxis: Enlightenment is when you know it at every moment in every second

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Megan Mary: yeah, and there’s no roller coaster of the up and down of the

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Megan Mary: I think I get it now. I feel like I I’ve I’ve overcome everything, and then you’re completely low and down in the dumps, and depressed and lonely, and then you’re back up, and then you’re back down. And

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Megan Mary: so enlightenment is kind of, I think, surpassing that up and down

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Theresa Contaxis: it. I don’t know if you ever totally surpassed it, but the moment it starts happening

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Theresa Contaxis: there’s that realization that that’s not true like that is just your emotions.

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Theresa Contaxis: and you can immediately bypass it and know truth. And and I think it’s just total training.

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Megan Mary: I know I’ve been going through that right now in my life of the

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Theresa Contaxis: I went so into my emotions recently. And and it was like, Okay, okay, find something. And it was funny what I was given. It was a motto.

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Theresa Contaxis: and it was so simple. And it came from

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Theresa Contaxis: a a movie that I saw. And it was just this a simple line about, I believe. Oh, it was from miracle on 34th Street, with a little child is going, and like now she’s trying to believe in Santa Claus, because she and she’s trying, and all she’s doing is going, I believe.

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Theresa Contaxis: I believe I believe, and she just holds to it. And so I’m like, okay, it’s more than believe I know. I know, I know, and tried to hold to it

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Theresa Contaxis: and not let the record player go. Yum, yum.

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right? Yes, spiritual intelligence. And over emotional.

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Megan Mary: Okay, not emotional intelligence. But just yeah. Recognizing the emotions is really important in terms of whether you

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Megan Mary: let your intuition rule your perspective on a situation or your emotional egoic reaction.

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Theresa Contaxis: Yeah. your ego lovely thing I call screaming Mimi.

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Megan Mary: Right? Yes.

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Megan Mary: So tell the audience a little bit about your background, how you came to write the book, the littlest sail boat, and then I’m going to have you read a

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Megan Mary: portion of it for for everyone.

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Theresa Contaxis: Well, the way this sailboat actually got born was over Probably 10 years

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Theresa Contaxis: I was. I’m I’m dyslexic.

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Theresa Contaxis: and my vocabulary is quite small, you know. I like little words. My my older daughter talks to me with these big words, and I almost need a translator.

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Theresa Contaxis: I always say English is my second language, and I don’t have a first but what happened is, I was working with the shaman the first time when I was like, let’s see what this is about, and I had a session with Shaman, and at the end of the session she said to me, spirit has never given this to me before.

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Theresa Contaxis: But I’ll tell you what I hear. Stop reading and start writing.

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Theresa Contaxis: and I sort of threw it aside because this was my first experience outside a Christian area. But I decided it was time to start exploring

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Theresa Contaxis: all sorts of things, cause I

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Theresa Contaxis: spirit God, divine source Universe shows itself up to you any way it can. and it will talk in the language that you can understand. And I wanted to understand more languages, so to speak.

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Theresa Contaxis: So then

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Theresa Contaxis: time goes by, and I’m with at that time it was James Wanless. He’s tarot card reader. He made his own deck.

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Theresa Contaxis: and he had. I had a session with him, and he said to me. You’re to start writing. And I went. Well, I’ve been told that before. But yeah, no. And he said, No, just do something. You need to start writing.

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Theresa Contaxis: And I thought, Okay, put it in the banks. But I’m still sort of poo pooing. Yeah, not me. I can’t do that. Who am I? You know. Who am I to write something like that ego going? So then I started the All Faiths Seminary, and I found out what our final paper.

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Theresa Contaxis: what our final thing had to be on, and what would our

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Theresa Contaxis: mission, or what would our ministry look like if we had any amount of money in the world to do what we wanted to do. And I thought, Okay, this is bad, because I’m not in this For that reason I wanted to study, or I really just all I wanted to do was grow. You know I’m a sponge. Just want more more.

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Theresa Contaxis: So I called the head of the school, and I said, I can’t do this. I there’s no ministry that I’m looking at.

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Theresa Contaxis: And she said no, and that was the day the book was born I went. Well, I’m just like a little sailboat that just sales in and out of lives as I’m needed.

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Theresa Contaxis: and that’s how the book was born.

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Theresa Contaxis: and once

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Theresa Contaxis: it so in some ways the book only took 2 months to write in other ways. The book took 10 years.

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Megan Mary: Yes, oh, I know how that is.

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Megan Mary: Yes, I started around my novel 10 years ago, and just just finishing it now. So yes, I think I think everybody has a book inside them, and it just takes the right recipe of of circumstances for it to come into the tangible physical world.

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Yes.

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Megan Mary: So what I love about the book. The littlest sailboat is the metaphor, because, as you know, when I work with dreams, one of the major parts of my method is metaphor, and

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Megan Mary: that is because I believe that our dreams are stories, and that there’s so much power in metaphor. So I really like how the book uses the ocean and the sailboat as metaphors for spirituality. So talk a little bit about that.

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Theresa Contaxis: Well.

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Theresa Contaxis: you know, when I this is changing the subject, but really not.

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Theresa Contaxis: I have built 3 houses. We’ve built 3 houses, and each time when it was done people would say, Oh, I love how this works together, and how you chose That is that going? Oh.

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Theresa Contaxis: I didn’t even notice I did that.

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Theresa Contaxis: and so came from deep within that even not I didn’t. From outside of myself I didn’t recognize it was more of an internal thing.

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Theresa Contaxis: and the sailboat is sort of the same thing. II knew

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Theresa Contaxis: for me God, Abba, but source, divine Spirit. II knew the ocean to me was more of it than anything else I could relate to. And now here I already said I was like a little sailboat sailing in and out of people’s lives.

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Theresa Contaxis: The ocean is so vast, and so we have, you know, as much knowledge as we have. We have no knowledge of the ocean in the depth, depth, depths of the ocean.

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Theresa Contaxis: and it just seemed to be to me, and I love the ocean. I love being on the ocean. I love being by the water. It

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Theresa Contaxis: it is to me the most peaceful place to be. even when the storms are rough. it’s somehow still to me

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Theresa Contaxis: provides peace. So to me that became it.

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Megan Mary: Yes, I agree with you, but I think it’s the.

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Megan Mary: It’s the energy of the water, and some of us are very drawn to that I mean, we are all water right, but some more than others are very drawn to that energy and feel very

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Megan Mary: connected when they’re near it.

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Megan Mary: And so I really like also the other themes that are intertwined in that. This the discussion around just the universal struggle that everyone goes through, and

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Megan Mary: also the the power of letting go.

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egan Mary: which has a very common theme in a lot of metaphorical books that I’ve read that is always

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Megan Mary: always very poignant, especially at this time of year, when we have when it’s fall, and we’re going through that transition in nature where we’re watching the the harvest and the death, and then waiting for that kind of dormancy period and the rebirthing, and you know it also. Is part of our season right? And how we

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Megan Mary: kind of go through a rebirthing at every year. We have that opportunity with the with the seasons. So

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Megan Mary: I really enjoy that aspect.

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Theresa Contaxis: the perfect word you just said, opportunity

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Theresa Contaxis: we choose. We can choose it, or we can ignore it.

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Megan Mary: Yes, absolutely. And that that goes for all, all spiritual awakening. Right? Because.

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Megan Mary: it’s around everyone. But a lot of people just want to ignore it, and that goes the same for dreams.

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Megan Mary: because so many people say, well, I don’t dream I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have dreams, and they do. They’re just subconsciously ignoring them somehow, somewhere along the way, decided subconsciously. They didn’t wanna hear what was coming from that part of themselves.

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Megan Mary: So it does involve a willingness

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Megan Mary: to listen and tune in to that.

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Theresa Contaxis: Yeah.

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Megan Mary: so talk a little bit about your experience.

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Megan Mary: when you wrote this book. Yeah. I also would like you to read a a little excerpt if you if you would. Yeah, maybe we’ll do that first, and then we’ll talk about it.

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Theresa Contaxis: page or 2 from the middle, and I would love to share the end.

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Theresa Contaxis: Okay. So

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Theresa Contaxis: as I sail out of the harbour, I look forward to where I will be heading next. no longer afraid of what is in store for me.

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Theresa Contaxis: Where is the wind taking me now?

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Theresa Contaxis: Don’t know. Don’t care

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Theresa Contaxis: wherever the wind takes me is perfect.

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Theresa Contaxis: Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize you haven’t heard of me.

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Theresa Contaxis: I thought you knew my story. Let me introduce myself. I’m the littlest sailboat.

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Theresa Contaxis: I was created approximately 6 decades ago in Earth years, but was told I had been around much longer.

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Theresa Contaxis: I was told I had come out of the depths of the ocean with the perfect visual representation of myself.

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Theresa Contaxis: When I first came into this vessel. I had a beautiful white sail and a purple hole. I was always around older boats who tried to help me grow until I was ready to go out on my own.

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Theresa Contaxis: I had no idea what that meant or what I wish to do.

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Theresa Contaxis: I became fearful because I thought I had to do this journey all alone. I was told to work hard so they would be better than other boats. That was truly frightening, because I saw so many boats that looked bigger and better than me.

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Theresa Contaxis: I didn’t even have a motor. I became jealous of many boats.

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Theresa Contaxis: I would look at them, and I would always think they were more special than me.

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Theresa Contaxis: I saw steamboats, tugboats in other boats. My favorite

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Theresa Contaxis: was cruise liners. I go on to how I was jealous of all the other boats, and how other boats scared me like destroyers, and all the different boats

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Theresa Contaxis: over the years I completely lost sight of. Who I was did I ever really know?

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Theresa Contaxis: Perhaps not since I was searching everywhere else, but in the right place to find myself. I decided to go for a sail, to think about everything.

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Theresa Contaxis: I did not want to be in pain any more. There must be a better way, I told myself.

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Theresa Contaxis: The wind was blowing strong, but I did not want to go the way it was blowing. I tried to go against the wind, but all that fighting was just making me tired, frustrated, and eventually so weak that I could not fight any more.

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Theresa Contaxis: I was so weak that I did not have the strength to move.

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Theresa Contaxis: Suddenly a big wave came and turned me over, I began to fill with water, and was being swallowed up by the ocean.

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Theresa Contaxis: but I was too exhausted to care.

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Theresa Contaxis: To my surprise a huge blast of wind came and picked me up.

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Theresa Contaxis: I was so tired I just slept. I was not even sure for how long. When I awoke the water was calm. and the wind was blowing ever so gently

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Theresa Contaxis: within my hole. There was some of the ocean, I thought. How interesting! Having the ocean water within me!

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Theresa Contaxis: I’ve been told before that I came from the depths of the ocean, though that never seemed to make any sense to me. Yet here I was, floating in the ocean with some of the ocean inside me

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Theresa Contaxis: that had to mean something important. but I wasn’t sure what. so I headed back to shore, knowing something had changed. My life seemed to be the same on the outside. I still had all the barnacles on me in the dirty sail.

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Theresa Contaxis: but something was different.

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Theresa Contaxis: I desired to learn to understand the ocean.

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Theresa Contaxis: and that towards the end

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Theresa Contaxis: I was awestruck that the great ocean trusted me to do. My part.

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Theresa Contaxis: became excited every day, wondering where I was going and what I was going to do.

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Theresa Contaxis: As I said in the beginning I did not know where the wind was taking me didn’t know, didn’t care. There’s so much I went through, and there’s so much ahead

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Theresa Contaxis: I love to share, because we all have difficult times and beautiful times.

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Theresa Contaxis: We all go through the journey differently, but end up in the same place.

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Theresa Contaxis: We all come out of the depths of the ocean, and return to the ocean. As all of us are part of the ocean, we are not alone.

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Theresa Contaxis: we not only have each other, we are part of each other. We are part of everything. I came into this life and experienced loneliness.

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Theresa Contaxis: and I have learned I am not alone, but part of the All.

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Theresa Contaxis: Just as you are. I have so many stories to share about the ocean and the love that is shared with me. I know the ocean and the wind will keep teaching me.

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Theresa Contaxis: This is not the end of my story. It’s just the beginning.

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Theresa Contaxis: and there’s so much more to discover along the way.

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Megan Mary: Thank you for reading that and sharing that. I think it’s so just. really powerful, and such a powerful metaphor for all of our struggles in life. How we

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Megan Mary: many times do feel like the little sailboat with no motor, and get get that imposter syndrome from the larger boats, and don’t really understand what direction we’re going in and don’t really fight against the the elements really, instead of letting them guide us and

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Megan Mary: understanding our own inner guidance that we don’t even need that superficial motor?

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Theresa Contaxis: Yes.

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Megan Mary: yeah. So I really like that.

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Theresa Contaxis: So thank you for sharing.

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Megan Mary: We had discussed before. Also your experience with dreams, and I know a lot of writers, myself included. Get inspiration from their dreams. And you had mentioned that you really recently started keeping a dream journal. Tell the audience a little bit about your experience when you started doing that.

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Theresa Contaxis: Well, I when I I first started taking a lot of journals down because I was dreaming a lot when my kids were young.

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Theresa Contaxis: I think it was because whatever winds or spirit could not get my attention during the day, because I was too busy. So it came through at night, so my higher self.

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Theresa Contaxis: my authentic self, talk to me a lot at night. So at that time I took it. II wrote down a lot.

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Theresa Contaxis: Then, when I had the time where I was doing a lot of it during the day, I stopped journaling, and then all of a sudden, one day I realized I was missing my dreams

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Theresa Contaxis: like I knew I was having them, and when I was having them they were great and

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Theresa Contaxis: but I stopped journaling it. So if you don’t journal they go away too fast. They just you’ll wake up and go. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It was great. What was it? And I would forget.

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Theresa Contaxis: So you gave the great idea of

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Theresa Contaxis: having your phone by the bed because part of my problem was I’d get up and write it down in complete detail, and then I couldn’t go back to sleep.

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Theresa Contaxis: So you gave the suggestion of having the phone by your bed, and you know, if you’re if you’re with somebody, my husband, I could get up and just in the bathroom and

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Theresa Contaxis: just say a couple of things about the dream that will trigger the dream to come back when you’re awake, and then write it down in detail. So that is where I’ve been going lately.

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Megan Mary: And

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Theresa Contaxis: it’s really helpful. And one of the things I find very interesting about dreams

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Theresa Contaxis: for me is that dreams talk to you from your authentic self, the way you can understand it. And the way I know that’s really true is, I’ve listened to different mystics from different religions, different belief systems. And I’d always go. But wait a minute. How can somebody have seen this when it doesn’t match with that?

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Theresa Contaxis: Because it doesn’t have to match. You’re getting a message that you’ll understand that you will understand. I mean, if I got a dream in in Russian I would have no clue. What happened

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Theresa Contaxis: but dream in English. I understand what’s happening

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Theresa Contaxis: just like if I got a dream from certain

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Theresa Contaxis: standpoint, spiritually, I might not have any clue what like in some traditions, snakes are good

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Theresa Contaxis: from the traditions I had come from. Snakes are not good. So snake, in that it was supposedly this really good dream, like from a different tradition, I would be like going. Oh, my God, no, you know so it it

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Theresa Contaxis: you get talked to the way you see it.

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Megan Mary: Yeah, that’s a really good example. And II use snakes quite often when people ask, I always talk about discarding your dream dictionary for that reason, because most people, when they’re trying to figure out their dreams, they go to a dream dictionary. They do the A to Z thing. They look up one thing and another thing based on the first letter and snakes is a great example, so they’ll look up snakes, and they’ll say, Oh, it’s a bad omen. Oh, it’s this or that, and I really don’t

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Megan Mary: subscribe to that at all. I believe that it’s coming from your higher self. It’s coming from your subconscious. So it’s representation is completely dictated by your experience, your associations, your

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Megan Mary: subconscious.

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Theresa Contaxis: because in Buddhism it’s not an evil thing that the snake thing is evil from a Christian tradition. But that doesn’t mean it is. So you have to look into it further.

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Megan Mary: Yeah. Yeah. And it it really is. Whatever you’ve compiled in your database from your life experience as well as possibly past lives where wherever your spirit came from.

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Theresa Contaxis: Well, in Shamanism you know the snake the serpent is is something to be honored because it’s about peeling off the old layer of skin.

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Megan Mary: Yes, a snake can represent that you’re peeling off a layer transformation regeneration.

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Megan Mary: So many things. Yeah. And II think people get caught up in the archetypal traditional description of certain dream themes and don’t allow the possibility of their own personal dream language to come through.

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Theresa Contaxis: Yeah. And that’s a process of learning. And I think the only way you could do that is by what you said.

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Theresa Contaxis: Write em down, speak em into your phone, whatever you have to do, but you have to find the

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Theresa Contaxis: the common thread. Yes. what? What? You’re being told.

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Megan Mary: And also, I think, there’s 2 parts to a dream appreciation. So appreciating your dreams realizing that they do hold information for you, and that they are worth

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spending time with and trying to capture, and then also dream sharing. Because when you start to discuss it with someone else. It takes on a whole other aspect, and many times that can evolve it into encouragement for them to then start to talk about theirs, and it creates a space

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Megan Mary: for people to share, and when you share, you start to have even more A-ha’s, as you have to verbalize.

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Theresa Contaxis: I had a dream many years ago. I can’t remember it now.

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Theresa Contaxis: but I told somebody a minister about the dream. and because I thought it was just for me.

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Theresa Contaxis: and he had his Aha! Moment that the dream was for him. and then he went to a minister above him and told that minister the dream, because of how it affected him, and that minister also had an Aha moment and felt the dream was for him.

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Theresa Contaxis: It that’s what the sharing does

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Megan Mary: right, and I mean the fact that you felt compelled to tell him is obviously was information that was from that universal self that had that significance many times when I do live events, and I do oracle card readings. And there’s 80 or 100 people in the in the room multiple people will say, Well, wait a minute. I think that one was for me, and it’s like, well, it is.

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Megan Mary: It’s not just for the one person that requested it. Because you’re here. You’re listening, and all of your energy is being shared, and you’re all sending a message

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Theresa Contaxis: it all goes back to. We are one right.

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Megan Mary: very much so.

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Megan Mary: which is a beautiful sentiment. and I think if we can all start to

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Megan Mary: integrate that into the way we approach life. it can really change our perspective on life.

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Theresa Contaxis: My first mystic teacher was a nun, as you know.

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Theresa Contaxis: and I don’t necessarily. And I’ve had other teachers where I’m not. I don’t necessarily subscribe to how they said something.

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Theresa Contaxis: but there’s so much truth in it, just like, you know, we talked about different languages. So which she had said one time was.

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Theresa Contaxis: I just lost my train of thought absolutely completely.

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But she she was so incredible at the way she taught it.

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Theresa Contaxis: and she had so much to say, and it was very

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Theresa Contaxis: Catholic the way she spoke, of course. but she she had expressions, and I’m changing the way I’m going, cause I forgot what I was gonna say, but she had a saying that I loved.

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Theresa Contaxis: Read it all. Eat the meat and Throw out the fat.

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Theresa Contaxis: Okay? And I think that’s beautiful. It’s like, don’t shut other things out because you say you don’t believe in it. It’s sort of isn’t that what we do now? Whether it’s on the Internet, whether whatever we read, what we already believe in, and we subscribe to that, whether it’s politics or no matter what it is on this. So you read everything to support

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Theresa Contaxis: that point of view instead of challenging yourself. Read it, eat the meat, just swallow that meat and get rid of the fat. You don’t have to agree with everything, but you’re going to find truth in everything.

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Theresa Contaxis: So to get truth, which is love, that’s

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Theresa Contaxis: truth is love. That’s the one thing it’s either love or fear. I pick love, though I operate out of fear

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Theresa Contaxis: quite often right now at times, but it’s it is love

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Theresa Contaxis: and and to shut off other possibilities. I mean, if God universe, I mean, think about the universe, think about expansive, it is.

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Theresa Contaxis: How can you just go. It’s this. when it’s this

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Theresa Contaxis: right? And I feel like growing up, that that was told to me to be well rounded, is what is what it used to how I was raised to consider all aspects right, so don’t don’t. Assume that you can hold that. You know

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Megan Mary: everything that there is, cause nobody can. And so just consider everything when you’re considering something. Of course, that was the birthing of my over analytical mind. But it was still a good idea as a good, you know. Baseline to then

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Theresa Contaxis: you it gives. Make sure that you’re always considering all perspectives

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Theresa Contaxis: I think thats a good sign of the beginning of awakening is when you could sit down and talk to somebody with totally different opinions and be totally okay with it. It doesn’t matter.

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Theresa Contaxis: And and what is the bottom line of it. Is it hate? Is it fear? Fear? Hate is fear. Fear is

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Theresa Contaxis: hate is born from fear. Or is it love?

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Theresa Contaxis: Love that they’re speaking.

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Theresa Contaxis: Well. that’s in truth. because it’s who we are.

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Megan Mary: Right.

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Theresa Contaxis: Okay, I shouldn’t preach anymore. I don’t mean to. I just love. I just love talking about it. Yeah. So so if you had 3 takeaways for the listeners. From this from this discussion, what would they be?

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Theresa Contaxis: Choose, love.

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Theresa Contaxis: trust your dreams to bring you to your authentic self, because that’s what dreams do

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Theresa Contaxis: they help you get to where you need to go, and they’ll also warn you when you need warnings.

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Theresa Contaxis: They’re wonderful. And a third one.

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Theresa Contaxis: just know that you are loved

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Theresa Contaxis: absolutely completely imperfect, and

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Theresa Contaxis: not to look. It’s so hard not to judge ourselves. We could be so hard on ourselves. We’re hard on our hey with. We’re harder on ourselves than anybody else could ever be.

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Theresa Contaxis: and just know. That’s know thats not how you’re seen

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Theresa Contaxis: by spirit. You are loved.

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Megan Mary: beautiful messages. I love all 3. Well, thank you so much for being here, Theresa. I really appreciate it.

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Theresa Contaxis: I can’t thank you enough for having me.

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Megan Mary: and thank you for sharing your book as well.